It’s been a challenging season for me personally for several reasons. One of those challenges has been trying to navigate the intangible and internal struggles that cannot simply be placed on a table for inspection. Counseling can help bring some of these matters into the light, but even then it requires trust that a person is honestly laying bare what is happening in their heart.

There are many other layers (realms) involved, including the reality of spiritual warfare, so I am not suggesting that everything can be reduced to the two areas I want to mention. However, after more than 30 years in ministry, I can say that these particular issues are often very complex. They can be blinding to the person experiencing them and can become subtle snares through which the enemy seeks to gain a foothold.

The first area I want to address is the emotional realm.

This is where the soul experiences joy, anger, peace, distress, calm, and turmoil. It is often where a person feels the impact of trials and spiritual attacks. In that sense, it is the receiving end of spiritual warfare. While the soul and the mind are closely intertwined, I want to focus specifically on how a person feels in response to what is said and done. These experiences can become the source of either deep grief or great joy and greatly influence how a person processes life.

Recently, there was a disagreement that went south. Things were said that deeply disturbed me, and neither the timing nor the words used were helpful. At the time, I felt troubled and unsettled by what was being communicated. I was tired at the end of the day and was not in the best frame of mind to process things clearly. In addition, trying to work through serious disagreements by text has always proved to be unwise. Texting through conflicts and difficult issues often becomes a playground for the enemy. I made the mistake of using that platform to discuss matters that should have been brought before the Lord in prayer and reserved for a face-to-face conversation. Emotions have a way of creating narratives that can be true, false, or somewhere in between. In the middle of all this, I was trying to find comfort for the turmoil I was feeling, but my emotions were making it difficult to discern things clearly.

What broke through the haze and internal turmoil were brothers who simply decided to call and check in. When the first call came, my heart immediately sensed their care just by the sound of their voices. Their concern was genuine, and their tone was nothing like what I had perceived while reading text messages. They asked how I was doing and where I was emotionally, showing brotherly concern and affection. The goal was not to settle disagreements or force agreement on issues, but to express love and provide a much-needed check-in.

The next day, another brother did the same thing, and the result was much the same. Those conversations reminded me how easily emotions can harden into pride. When we are hurt or troubled, we can settle on a narrative without considering the bigger picture. We can become convinced of our own perspective while failing to remember that unity is not easy, but it is necessary. Unity does not require uniformity. Rather, it calls us to a shared commitment to seek one another’s good, to care for one another, and to pursue understanding for the sake of Christ and the advance of the gospel.

The way to overcome the emotional battle is through trust in the Lord’s sovereignty, humility before Him and others, and loving communication with those who are troubled, even if their hurt stems from something you said that was misunderstood or misapplied. Reaching out in love can often prevent small wounds from becoming deep divisions. Those who fail to do so may find themselves entrenched in self-preservation, clinging to their own perspective and carrying an axe to grind rather than pursuing peace and understanding.

The second area I want to address is the motivational realm.

This is the realm where a person not only exercises the will, but where the reasons behind decisions are found. It is the realm of motives. For example, someone may pursue public office because they crave attention, revealing a deeper desire for recognition or control. Another person may aspire to the office of elder for the right reasons, desiring to serve the people of God rather than to lord authority over them. In both cases, the action itself may appear similar, but the motives are very different. There can be both right and wrong reasons behind our choices. The motivational realm, therefore, is not merely concerned with what a person decides to do, but with why they want to do it. It is here that the deeper desires and intentions of the heart are revealed.

I spend a great deal of time reflecting on this. I grew up in church cultures where the pastor functioned more like a boss than a shepherd. Being under leaders who viewed themselves more like kings than servants was difficult. Such leadership stands in sharp contrast to Christ, who said that He came not to be served but to serve (Mark 10:45). Because of those experiences, I often examine my motives for ministry and for the everyday decisions we make in our church. I am aware of my own struggles with low self-esteem, and therefore I have to guard against serving in order to meet a personal need, such as boosting my sense of worth or finding my identity in ministry itself. Instead, I must acknowledge that my heart is still being sanctified. I need to regularly weigh my intentions before the Lord and carefully consider why I am making the decisions I make, seeking to serve out of love for Christ and His people rather than out of a desire for self-fulfillment.

There are times when I recognize that I am not in the right frame of mind to make wise decisions. In those moments, it is often best to pause rather than act, remembering that “the one who is hasty with his feet misses his way” (Prov. 19:2) and that “the prudent sees danger and hides himself” (Prov. 22:3). I found myself in such a place recently and chose to wait rather than move. What kept me afterward was not my emotions or my own understanding, but the truth of God’s Word. I was reminded to trust in the Lord rather than lean on my own understanding (Prov. 3:5–6), to let the peace of Christ rule in my heart (Col. 3:15), and to set my mind on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable (Phil. 4:8). In the midst of confusion, God’s Word became a lamp to my feet and a light to my path (Ps. 119:105), renewing my mind and helping me discern what is good and pleasing to Him (Rom. 12:2). Rather than allowing my emotions to dictate my decisions, I found stability in the unchanging truth of God’s Word.

Also, in my reading of Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices, I was helped by Thomas Brooks’s section on “Satan’s devices to keep souls from holy duties, to hinder souls in holy services, and to keep them off from religious performances.” In particular, Brooks notes that one of Satan’s devices is to discourage believers from faithful service by presenting before them the dangers, losses, and sufferings that may accompany obedience.

As a remedy, Brooks writes, “God knows how to deliver from troubles by troubles, from afflictions by afflictions, from dangers by dangers.” In other words, the very hardship that seems to hinder us may be the means God uses to preserve us. Brooks illustrates this with the account of a godly man who, on his way to board a ship bound for France, broke his leg. By God’s providence, the ship he intended to take sank at sea, and not one person survived. Thus, what appeared to be a painful setback became the means by which God preserved his life. Such examples remind us that our sovereign God often works through afflictions and disappointments to accomplish His wise and gracious purposes.

This may very well be the case for me in this season. As difficult as things have been, these trials may be the very means by which God is directing me to where He wants me to be. This perspective helped me to reorder my emotions and, consequently, my motives. In my reading this month my heart began to find peace again, remembering that the Christian life is not without a bitter cross. Yet the cross is never without purpose.

Brooks recounts the story of the noble General Zedislaus, who had lost his hand in battle. In recognition of his sacrifice, the king sent him a golden hand. Brooks draws the lesson that whatever we lose in Christ’s service, Christ Himself will more than repay with His gracious mercies. Though the cross may be bitter, it is only for a little while. As Brooks noted, speaking of Julian’s persecution, “a little storm, and an eternal calm follows.” Remembering this helped me to see that present difficulties are not meaningless, but are instruments in the hands of a wise and gracious God who uses even painful seasons for our good and His glory.